It’s been a month since I last posted – not because I’ve been too busy, more like I’ve been too still. My heart has felt like it’s been in cardiac arrest dealing with all the things going on in my family. Thankfully Ruth is still with us, although she is house bound as is my mom who must care for her. But things have not gotten any easier.
The very next day after I blogged about Ruth, we found out my brother-in-law had a tumor in his spine. A week later he went into the hospital and he’s been there ever since. I can’t even fathom what my sister, his wife, is going through as she copes with two people she loves being so sick. Then last week my mom found out there is still a hole in her retina and the doctors are most likely going to want to operate (although my mom says she’s done with surgery for awhile and I can’t blame her.)
Next to all this the fact that neither Randy nor I have jobs seems like the easy burden. I remember this story I once heard: a woman who is overwhelmed with life collapses on her bed in tears. She begs God to change her circumstances. As she falls into a deep sleep the weight on her back gets lighter and she sees God lift a cross off her back. He opens a door and sets it down before leading her along a thin hallway to another door. Upon pushing it open she sees a row of crosses some ornate, some rough, each of a different size. Silently God leads her down the row and points to the name plaques at the bottom. These are names she knows! Her friend whose daughter has Autism; her uncle who the doctor just told has Alzheimer’s, the neighbor whose is about to lose her house; the mail man who hides a prosthetic leg under his crisp blue pants…
God asks, “Is there a cross you would rather have?”
“These all seem like such hard burden’s to carry.” She looks down the long row and sees a smaller one, not fancy, but worn smooth. “What about that one?”
“That’s the one I took from you a few moments ago.”
Her lips trembled. “Why do we have to carry a cross at all?”
“Because I carried one for you. And only in joining me can you learn to love as I first loved you.”
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. (Matt 11:28-30)
Lord, teach me to love as you have loved – always praying for those I see that they would come to you in times of trial. May my soul find rest in you as I open my heart to those around me – loving them and in so doing loving you.
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