By His Grace

Ruth

One year ago today, I lost my sister Ruth. She passed away after 32 years of living with Down’s Syndrome and a host of other mental and physical disabilities. But the deformed body did not harm her spirit. God brought her into the world knowing he would use her to teach us so much: to love like no one else could, to wipe our tears and cry with us, to celebrate food like spaghetti and M&Ms, to enjoy simple things like bowling and movies, to dance with joy, to endure pain and suffering with a cuddle, to give of yourself as often as you have opportunity, and to always be thankful.

 

I mourn the loss of such a wonderful gift. She will always be with me, both in my memory as well as the way I think and see the world. But I long for the day when I can see her again – to see the beautiful smile and receive the wonderful hugs I have been missing this last year.

 

Happy Thanksgiving, Ruth.

Thankful Thoughts

“If you have learned to give thanks for your problems, then you have learned to live with them. Thankfulness thus becomes a barometer of our spiritual lives. It indicates a deepening relationship with God in which one learns to receive even problems as if they came from the hand of a loving Father. It recognizes that since God has allowed something, He will give the grace to live and grow through it.” Author Unknown

 

• Today I can complain because the weather is rainy, or I can be thankful that it’s not snowing!
• Today I can whine because I have to go to work, or I can be glad that I have a job.
• Today I can murmur dejectedly because I have to clean the house, or I can feel honored because the Lord has provided me shelter.
• Today I can cry because roses have thorns, or I can celebrate that thorns have roses.

 Thank you God!

Hospitality

When you extend hospitality to others, you are not trying to impress people, you're trying to reflect God to them... We are here on earth to be God's people. We are here to show others the same God who came here to the earth. ~Max Lucado

 

In the past few years I have been leaning that when I have people in my home, hospitality does not primarily consist of having everything spotless and cleaning up the kitchen right after dinner so that it’s all neat and tidy. Instead it requires me to make others feel comfortable. And sometimes a little mess is what we need. Rather than washing the dishes, I can leave them in the sink and focus my energies on listening and loving those with me. They are more important than a clean house.

 

And quite frankly, that is a message I need to learn for myself. God would rather be with me then have me running around serving him to the point that I ignore him. He came to initiate a loving relationship not to impress me with his neatness. And he wants the same hospitality from me.

Grace in Chaos

My sister tells this amazing story of God’s protection on her blog (see the Blake Family link bellow). At the end she shares this thought: God doesn’t prevent the chaos; He works his grace within it.

 

It struck such a chord with me. I see it every day in the people I counsel. I see it when I read the news. I see it in the church being filled with broken people. And I see it in my own life.

 

Here’s the summary, in order, of all the chaotic things I’ve been through in the last year and a half:

1. Lead Pastor of the church I worked for had an affair, left his wife, and wrecked havoc in the church. I was the one who stood on the stage and told the congregation.

2. Randy’s job was eliminated suddenly. He was without a job for 11 months.

3. I lost my job when the church could no longer pay the bills. I was without a job for 9 months

4. We left the church and lost relationship with many friends.

5. My sister Ruth passed away

6. My sister Paula lost her job. She was without a job for 8 months.

7. We uprooted our lives and moved to Illinois for new jobs leaving the remaining friendships behind.

8. My dad lost his job. He’s still unemployed.

9. My brother-in-law died from cancer

 

It’s been crazy. And yet, I have experienced God’s grace even in the midst of the chaos and often times precisely because I could not control the chaos. His grace has been a constant in my life. It’s one of the reasons I titled this blog “By His Grace.” If my journey can be of any encouragement to you, it’s to run to God’s grace in the midst of the chaos. It’s the one place of refuge in the storm.

 

So that's where it comes from!

Yesterday my Mom took the Strengths Finder Assessment (see the book at the bottom of my list). When it gave her top five, we discovered that we share 3 of them (although not in the same order).

 

· Strategic: Able to sort through the clutter and find the best route. See patterns where others see complexity. Evaluate all possible solutions and outcomes and choose the best one.

· Relator: Get energized by spending time with close friends. Comfortable with intimacy. Deliberately encourage the deepening of relationships. Want to know and be known deeply.

· Responsibility: Take psychological ownership of what they say they will so. Committed to stable values such as honestly and loyalty. Driven to completion. Reliable and utterly dependable.

 

For me to see how much my way of thinking was influenced by her was amazing. Sometimes we seem so different from each other because we live such different lives. Yet to see that we approach life in a similar manner was fun for me. I do like these things about myself, and it was great to be able to see where these strengths came from. Thanks Mom!

It's a boy!

Last week we found out that the grandbaby on the way is a boy! Randy was excited that we will get to spoil another one, but maybe differently than we do with Ava. The fun thing was when Missy told Eddie about the ultrasound, she said "you're going to have a new fishing buddy!" Eddie didn't get it and had to have her tell him straight before he got all excited. Now we just have to wait until February 10th (or whenever the baby is ready to see us!)

Vermont

Friday morning Randy and I jumped on a plane to Boston for a night away. We rented a car and drove up through New Hampshire and into Vermont to see the fall colors – so peaceful.

The round trip of 550 miles included a stay in Stowe, VT at the Brass Lantern B&B plus a quick tour of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream factory. We came back a little tired from the driving, but very refreshed in our spirits from the time together. Plus now that Randy’s been in Vermont, he only has North Dakota left before he’s hit all 50 states!

The Cotton Farmer

This was a devotional from yesterday that was shared with me and I wanted to share it with you.

 

Consider how the lilies grow. (Luke 12:27)

 

Not just the lilies, but a few other flowering things.  Like cotton.  Seeing a cotton field ready for picking gives new meaning to the phrase "white unto harvest." But a lot of carefully planned work goes into the crop before it reaches that stage - it's true for us as spiritual "plants" as well.
 
Just at the time - the exact time -  the cotton plant starts to bear fruit, the farmer withholds water.  Less water at the critical stage in development makes for a fuller cotton flower.  The farmer is judicious.  He doesn't go too long without watering or the plant will die; then again, he doesn't over-water or it would result in a lush plant with little or no cotton flower.  This is how the farmer induces the plant to produce more cotton.  At harvest time, he sprays the cotton plant with salt water, which dries up the leaves and makes them fall off. Now the cotton is much easier to pick. We would be prone to leave the green part of the plant. But the farmer knows the plant has to give up its beauty to serve its function.
 
Dry seasons are no mistake.  For consider how you grow.  You sometimes bear more fruit (like patience or long-suffering) for having endured a dry season. If you're going through a dry time, keep in mind that God is inducing you to "raise a harvest of righteousness" (James 3:18).  The stresses of life are being used for His good purpose. Let that thought release you from worrying. And as far as those dried up leaves that fall off, sometimes, we, too, must give up something that is treasured to serve the purpose God intends for us.
 

Joni and Friends Daily Devotional. Taken from More Precious Than Silver. Copyright © 1998 by Joni Eareckson Tada. Zondervan Publishing House, Grand Rapids.

Treasure

When Randy and I bought this house, we knew it was a good choice, but it needed some work and updating. Over the summer I would constantly walk into a room and see all the things that needed to get done – painting, new flooring, furniture, fixing broken things, etc. Then I’d walk outside and see all the things I needed to do there – trimming tree branches, getting the weeds out of the grass, cutting back the over grown flowerbeds… I could never just enjoy the house or the yard. We’d talked about having a house warming which just made my need to get it all looking great even stronger.

 

Jesus says, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” So true. My mental attention was constantly on this house and all the physical things associated with it. I valued not only the house itself but the opinions of others about my house.

 

But then a funny thing happened. We went ahead and scheduled the open house for the staff and elders of our church. Being organized, I could calculate that there was no way we could get it all done before they came over, and suddenly I stopped worrying about it. I stopped thinking I needed to get everything done right now. Somehow choosing to focus on the people – in this case, welcoming them into my home – freed me from the tyranny of the earthly treasure. Enjoying them became more important than looking good. And this shift in my heart was a result of the shift in my treasure. After all, they will be with me forever in heaven (something that cannot be said about this house!).

 

I still have updates I’d like to make. But last Saturday when we had around 30 people over, I relaxed and enjoyed my new treasure. Those relationships will be so much more life giving then this house will ever be.

Place of Grace

You will notice I added a book to my favorites list: How People Grow by Cloud and Townsend. They do a great job of connecting theology to the tools needed to grow as people and as believers in Christ. I had a number of my women’s ministry leaders reading it over the summer and we met yesterday to discuss it.

 

Here’s one thought that was particularly impactful:

“The more love we internalize, the more truth we can bear. Love gives us the support and grace to tolerate difficult realities. Well-loved people can face their souls without going all-bad or becoming deeply discouraged, for they have been rooted and grounded in love” (Eph. 3:17).

 

Here’s one analogy that really connected:

“If one of you walked out of this meeting and a guy with a mask walked up to you in the dark parking lot, took out a knife, stabbed you in the stomach, took all your money, and left you in an unconscious state, you would call him a mugger. Someone would call the police, and they would try to find the perpetrator.

But if you left this meeting, drove down the street to the local hospital, and a guy with a mask came to you in a brightly lit room, took out a knife, cut your stomach open, took all your money, and left you in an unconscious state, you would call him a doctor and thank him for helping you. One is a mugging and the other is surgery. Suffering is a lot like that. There is therapeutic suffering and there is destructive suffering at the hands of evil people. The key is to be able to tell the difference between the two and to apply the right kind of experience to each.”

 

In order for us to be able to heal from either a mugging or surgery, we need to be in a place that offers grace and love. This support gives us the strength to be able to face the pain, grieve, and heal. As leaders we want to provide just such a place where both honesty and kindness guide us.

 

Although the book is a thick read, I’d highly recommend it to anyone who wants to grow in their own life and especially for those who are trying to help others grow.